


Stay close and never let me go

by trilliastra



Series: Tumblr Fics [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, post 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1314886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trilliastra/pseuds/trilliastra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Derek wants to have kids.” Stiles says.</p><p>His dad nods patiently and then raises his eyebrow when Stiles doesn't elaborate. “Dad, Derek wants to have kids!” Stiles repeats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay close and never let me go

“Dad.” Stiles calls, shaking his dad's shoulder gently. “Dad.”

“Huh?” He grunts, blinking. “What? Who's dying?”

“No one.” Stiles says. “Well, my relationship with Derek might, but no one is in danger right now.”

Seeming to understand there's no imminent threat his dad groans louder. “I had a night shift - which you know because I told you when we had lunch _yesterday_ – and you decided to wake me up at 7 in the morning?”

“I made coffee?” Stiles gives his best apologetic smile. It used to work all the time when he was a kid and apparently still does because his dad only rolls his eyes and reaches for the mug Stiles placed on the nightstand. 

While his dad finishes drinking the coffee, Stiles stands, impatient, and starts to pace around the room, resisting the urge to pull at his hair. “Start talking.”

“Derek wants to have kids.” Stiles says in a rush. His dad nods patiently and then raises his eyebrow when Stiles doesn't elaborate. “Dad, Derek wants to have _kids!_ ” He repeats when his dad doesn't immediately starts to freak out with him.

Derek and Stiles have been together for four years and even though his dad was fine with their relationship, he always made sure to mention the age difference every time they talked about Stiles' life – like when Stiles decided to go to Berkeley instead of NYU, or when he graduated and decided to move in with Derek.

“You always knew that.” His dad states. “He loves Scott's kid, and keeps saying Andrea is a great name for a girl.” Stiles shakes his head and thinks it was a bad idea to come talk to his dad, he should have known – his dad _loves_ Derek. “He said that _yesterday._ ”

“Derek wants to have kids _soon_ ” Stiles emphasizes, then adds “And Andrea is an awful name. Who would name their kid Andrea?”

His dad keeps watching Stiles with a mixture of disbelief and fond exasperation on his face and Stiles wants to reach out, shake him and yell 'why are you so calm about this?'.

“But you also want kids.” Stiles' dad points out, running a hand through his face and yawning. “You broke up with Jeanette because she didn't want to have kids, didn't you?”

“Well yes, but –” Stiles waves around, blushing.

“You didn't.” His dad laughs and Stiles glares. “You broke up with her because Derek had recently broken up with that girl –”

“Beth.” Stiles corrects annoyed. He used to hate Beth, and it was not because she was dating Derek, well not _just_ because.

“and you didn't need to make him jealous anymore.” His dad continues like Stiles hadn't interrupted, smirking when Stiles' glare intensifies. “You were so gone.”

“I'm still gone.” Stiles shrieks, suddenly feeling the need to prove his love for Derek. “I'm so gone I might as well be in China.”

“Then why the hell did you wake me up to talk about Derek wanting to have kids?”

“I don't know.” Stiles groans, collapsing on the bed beside his dad. “He was talking about adoption and how we could start thinking about it and I – I panicked.”

His dad runs a hand through Stiles' hair and sighs. “Having kids is scary, you're not the first and you're definitely not going to be the last to be nervous about it.”

“I know.” Stiles says, leaning closer to his dad's touch. “Derek is the best thing that ever happened to me and having a kid with him is everything I want – ”

His dad gives him a soft smile. “But?”

“But what if I fuck this up? What if Derek realizes I'm not good enough for him?” He blinks back the tears and sighs.

After the nogitsune Stiles started to doubt himself – his own self control – in a way he had never doubted before. Derek helped him get over some issues, but there are others he still has to work out.

He knows Derek has his own problems, and Stiles helped him with all that he could – but Derek is much more confident about their relationship than Stiles ever was.

Derek never doubted Stiles' love, he knows Stiles loves him despite his past and his flaws. But Stiles – he trusts Derek with everything, but he still doesn't trust himself to be what Derek wants and needs.

“Stiles.” His dad calls, taking Stiles back from his thoughts. “You're smart, loyal and strong – ” He whispers, wiping a tear from Stiles' face. “you've always been the best friend you could be, and the best son.” He smiles. “ _And_ the best boyfriend.” Stiles sobs. “You don't need to be someone else, because we love you for who you are.”

Stiles blinks then throws himself at his dad, clinging at his shirt in the same way he used to do after his mom died and he was having a panic attack. “That's not gonna change, son. I promise you, it won't.”

It still feels like a dream sometimes, that Stiles is here after everything he's been through and he has his dad and friends and Derek. Even after seven years, he's still scared he's going to wake up one day and the nogitsune will still be using his body to hurt his best friend, to throw Derek against walls. To kill people.

“Thank you, dad.” He sobs. “I just –”

“I know.” His dad whispers. “I know, son.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

–

“Where were you?” Derek asks while Stiles closes the door behind him. “I was worried. What – were you crying?” He looks scared and Stiles wants to smile, to give Derek some sort of reassurance that everything is fine, but he still can't. His dad helped to an extent, but the rest is between Stiles and Derek.

“I was with my dad.” Stiles answers. “He's fine.” He adds quickly because Derek looks like he's about to panic. “I just wanted to talk to him.”

Derek nods and waits. That's one of the things Stiles loves the most about him; Derek doesn't press, doesn't make questions – he waits for Stiles to be ready to say what he wants, but makes sure to show he's there to support Stiles in whatever he needs.

God, Stiles is so lucky.

“When you said you wanted to have kids, I – kind of panicked.” He walks towards Derek, desperate to touch him. “Not because I don't them –” Stiles says and Derek nods, smiling softly when Stiles touches his chest. “because I do, I so do.”

Derek nods again, running a hand through Stiles' arm. “And I love you so much. Even though you drive me crazy all the time.” He adds, making Derek snort.

Stiles takes a deep breath, gathering his strength to say everything he wants. “I just think that you deserve someone better than me?” As soon as the words are out of Stiles' mouth, Derek's eyebrows shoot up and he takes a step back.

He looks angry – angrier than Stiles had ever seen him before – and it's a surprise because Derek doesn't really get angry anymore. Nervous and irritated? Yes, every day, but this is the first time he sees Derek so angry and it's because of him.

“Derek, I –”

“No.” Derek growls, his eyes flashing blue. Stiles flinches and Derek growls again. “Don't. I told you before and I'm going to tell you again, but this is going to be the last time.” Derek reaches for Stiles' shoulder. “Nothing that happened before is your fucking fault. You kept telling me that – how I shouldn't blame myself for what happened to my family – and it drives me fucking crazy that you don't believe when I try to tell you the same.”

Stiles nods weakly, mouth open in surprise. But Derek doesn't seem like he's about to stop, he only shakes his head angrily. “I chose to be with you, and it's ridiculous that you can't trust me with my own fucking decisions.” 

That snaps something inside Stiles and he slaps Derek's hand away. “Because I fucking love you!” He shouts. “I love you so much it hurts me sometimes, and I want – no, I need you to be happy!”

“I _am_ happy! With _you!_ ” Derek snarls.

Stiles opens his mouth once, twice, and nothing comes out. He tries to speak, even if it's just a whisper, but his throat is closed. All the anger from before quickly forgotten.

“I am happy with you. And I only want kids with _you._ ” Derek continues, expression open and more vulnerable than Stiles ever seen. “Why can't you accept that?”

“Because I'm so – broken.” Stiles finally says. It feels odd to say it loud, admit his own weakness but Derek only shakes his head fondly.

“So am I.” Derek circles Stiles' waist, bringing him closer. “We are never going to be whole again, because we both lost too much –” Stiles sobs against Derek's chest. He doesn't understand how it's even possible to be so sad and so happy at the same time. “but you make me happy despite everything. And I hope I make you happy too.”

“You do!” Stiles rushes to say. He doesn't want Derek to doubt it for a second, because Derek makes him happy every day, every second. When they are having breakfast in the kitchen and Derek is teasing him about the burnt eggs, or when they are watching TV before going to sleep and Stiles lets Derek chose the movie even though he knows they will end up watching a documentary about penguins or something. “You do, every day.”

“Then let yourself have this. Me. A family.” Derek pleads.

Stiles was never able to say no to Derek.

–

“Daddy!” Lucy calls. “Grandpa said I can sleep at his house tonight.”

“Great, pumpkin.” Stiles yells back, giving her a thumbs up and laughs when she grins happily, then turns and jumps on her grandfather, making him stumble and fall on his ass. “Getting old, dad?”

His dad glares. “Look out, son. Or I'm going to tell your daughter where you hide the candy.”

“Ugh –” Stiles fakes, watching Derek play with Ben. “I don't know what I did to deserve this.”

When Derek looks up, Stiles winks and mouths _I love you._

Derek smiles and mouths those same three words back.

**Author's Note:**

> And all I wanted was to write fluff.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> Well, comments are always welcome.  
> aand [Tumblr](http://www.brookesbutler.tumblr.com) if you want to talk


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